What did the neckbeard wizard use to find his way around Hogwarts?

M'rauders Map

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in the garbage can?

Finding a dead baby in the recycle bin.

How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish. I got this from bash.org a long time ago, but I can't find the original post, so have this

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How do you fit an elephant in a teacup?

You take the f out of way. say it out loud if you don't get it

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way."

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Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts?

Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts? He was caught playing with his broomstick.

How do you know that Hogwarts is feminist friendly?

The entrance is a dumbledore.