What did the old man get for his birthday?

Cancer.

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Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadriplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer

What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

Old Man Jokes More Old Man Jokes

Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

What do you call an old man whose retarded?

Bernie Sanders!!

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

What did the Nuclear Engineer get for his birthday?

Yellow Cake

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh