What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?

A: You make my temperature rise.

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Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

Why did balloon prices keep rising?

Because they had to adjust for inflation.

What would happen if you ate yeast and polish?

You would rise and shine.

Thermometer Jokes More Thermometer Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?

A: They are both up to something.