What did Thomas Jefferson grow?

Old.

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Why did the ghoul knit herself three socks?

A: Because she grew another foot.

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

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How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb?

They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was.

How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"