What do you call a obese fortune teller?

A fortune teller, you FPHer!!!

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What do programmers and obese people have in common?

They both call an 8-course meal a bite.

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

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Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls deep made this up.

Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation?

To Palm Beach.