What happened to the man who died from drinking Shellac?

He had a *lovely finish*.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

How many Mormons do you take fishing with you?

Two. If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the pie dish that got arrested?

He was foiled.

What happens if you feed Link some Speed?

you get a Hyperlink ...

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What seperates man from animal?

Divorce!

How long have you felt this way?

Man: "Ever since I was an egg."

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do you call a French General who charged into battle and died?

Napoleon Blownaparte

Why did the dog die?

It had Barkinsons