What is the top selling fruit in the world?

Clay Aiken.

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How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

Who is the smelliest hairiest monarch in the world?

King Pong.

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Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.