What makes a glow worm glow ?

A light meal !

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How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

How's the wife?

Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next

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Why was the glow worm unhappy ?

Because her children weren't that bright !

What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer ?

Light ale !