What's going on?

Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why doesn't democracy work in china?

Because no one wants to hold an erection.

What do you do when you want to hold a bunny?

You grabbit.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?

Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken " Mother: "We need the eggs."

How many mottophobics does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Who do you think broke the filament in the first place

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did the Hispanic firefighter name his kids?

Jose and Hose-B

What is that behind your ear?

Nice try, too old for the coin trick" "No it's a tumor" "Oh my god" "Kidding it's a quarter"

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What do you call an Ent prince who betrays his dad?

Treason

Why can't you see a transgender who's a dad?

Because he's a transparent. Apologies if I could've worded it different.