What's green and has four wheels?

A turtle. I was lying about the wheels

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why should you never trust someone straight after coitus?

Usually they're lying

Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night?

Because her hips won't lie.

Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

Whats with the wheel on your john?

the pirate replied, "Arrg it's driving me nuts!"

Why are women terrible drivers?

Because making sandwiches behind the wheel is a lot harder than making them in the kitchen.

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

What do you call a turtle with a hard on?

A slow poke.

What kind of photos do turtles take?

Shellfies