What's the best part about getting a puppy?

Getting new shoes every week.

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What do you call a puppy with autism?

aww-tistic

Why did Ellen Pao punch the puppy?

Cause shes terrible.

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What do they have in common ?

Both of them can sniff "the goods" but no one can touch !

What's the best part about going to a concert in Paris?

Free Shots

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How do you ruin a joke?

By reposting it every week!

What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ?

After a week he was spotless !