What says "Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!" ?

A dog with a hair lip

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What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him?

No hard feelings.

What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.

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How do Religious Education teachers mark exams?

With spirit levels.

How long did you spend on your cosplay?

Me: Seven months A: *Hands me a badge marked "Casual"*