What was the engineer's reaction to his wife being too heavy?

Cantilever? (can't I leave her)

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Wilford Brimley say to his wife when he found out she was pregnant?

You have diafetus

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon?

Tennish.

Why didn't Hellen Keller learn to lip-read?

The braille left her lips numb.