Whats a motivational word for a gopher?

Gopher' it.

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What s a Muslim s favorite cologne?

GERMANY!!!!

Whats the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

one's really heavy and the others a little lighter!

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What did the groundhog's trainer tell him before the Olympics?

Gopher gold.

What do you call a part gopher, part duck, and part you?

A Gophuckyourself.