Why don't you put an advert in the paper?

Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly he can't read!"

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Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

Why do they ask you if you would like paper or plastic at the grocery store?

Because baggers can't be choosers,

Why couldn't the physicist get his paper published?

It was a work of friction.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Zoo Keeper Jokes More Zoo Keeper Jokes

What's the difference between a Stormtrooper and a Zoo Keeper?

The Storm Trooper would have missed harambe

What did the police officer say to the zoo keeper?

Yeah I get it, I shoot monkeys on sight too.