Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs after a house fire?

Stephen Hawking's

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Why is the lady on the Red Heads matchbox always smiling?

There are 48 heads in her box - of course shes happy!

Whats all of this fuss about reposts?

I haven't seem any all year! (It's 12:00 NZST)

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What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?

Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.