Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies?

Pencilvania.

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Which is the cheapest bicycle you can buy?

A penny-farthing.

How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard of hearing?

HEY! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!

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What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?

A bite in shining armor.

Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.