Who doesn't like Turkey?

Russia.

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Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

What do you say to an ugly person?

Anything you like, what are they going to do about it?

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Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

Why does Russia not celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they hate Turkey

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Where do turkeys go to have a good time?

The Turkey Club

Who doesn't like Turkey?

Russia.