Who survives?

America.

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America Jokes More America Jokes

What's the difference between America and cereal?

You can get cereal without nuts.

Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...