Why are football grounds odd?

Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What should you do when your ex-girlfriend stands in the spotlights?

Drive faster.

Why do people in wheelchairs have such low confidence?

Because they never stand up for themselves.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming "LIE TO ME"!

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals ?

The Lakers . (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals. ) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke .

Football Ground Jokes More Football Ground Jokes

What part of a football ground is never the same ?

The changing rooms !

What happened when the school bully went netsurfing?

The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.