Why are you not laughing?

Cos I'm quitting today."

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Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel?

I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing.

What are your symptoms?

I can't laugh and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything!"

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing

Why did the bacteriologist quit her job?

She hated being microbe-managed.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets. (credit: some old veteran bum looking guy sleeping on a bench at the police station I went to today.)

How did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on today.