What's the difference between a cook and a homo?

Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.

What's the difference between a man on a unicycle wearing a tuxedo and a man on a bicycle wearing a tank top?

Attire.

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef?

FILET MIGNON!**

Why don't more people cook Armenian food?

Because it can be very thyme-consuming.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What can I get you today?

Harambe: May I get a martini Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice Me: Justice for Harambe.

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?

Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

Why doesn't Sean Connery have any grown up children?

He prefers them shaken, not stirred.

How does Liam Neeson like his martini?

Taken, not stirred.

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)

Homo Jokes More Homo Jokes

Why won't the members of the Westboro Baptist Church drink whole milk?

Because it's Homo.

What did the gallon of pasteurized milk say to the other?

No homo."