Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends?

A squadratic formula, if you will.

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What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip?

Coo.

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

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What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

What sort of drug does a duck use?

Quack cocaine