Why can't your children be like my office voice mail?

Seen but not heard

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What does a child with stickers have in common with a cocaine addicted DJ?

They both love to scratch and sniff. (sorry if it's a repost I'm not here often)

What do farts and children have in common?

You love your own, but hate everyone else's.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?

He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

What did Hamlet say when he heard dubstep for the first time?

Aye, there's the wub"