Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because then the children have to play inside.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How do you stop ISIS?

Leave some milk in the sun for a few days.

What did Santa get the day after Christmas?

Diabetes

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How'd you get amnesia?

4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..

What do you call a rock group of 4 men who don't sing or play music?

Mount Rushmore. Or Nickelback. I'm so sorry.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

How does a Chinese family name their children?

They throw 3-9 pots and pans down a flight of stairs.

What are the similarities between my work shirt and the children of Flint, MI?

They both were recently ironed.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why don't you play with your friends?

he asked. 'Because I only have one friend' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'

How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?

Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets