Why didn't they just call "Ant-Man" Uncle?

Credit to Steve Higgins from The Tonight Show.

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What did the grave robber say to his gym buddy in the locker room?

I'm gonna get some head tonight.

Who's there ! Caitlin ! Caitlin who ?

Caitlin you my trainers tonight I'm wearing them !

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How many "friend zone" guys does it take to put in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter how many. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: Credits to Drougen for making it better.

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.