Why do I need the life vest?

Me: If you have to ask, you might not need one.

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What did Joe Hill say when someone asked if he was Joe King?

No, I'm dead serious."

How do you ask an Uber driver if he drives for Lyft, too?

Do you even Lyft bro? (I'll see myself out)

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How do you win the vegetable race?

You need to get ahead of lettuce

How many blind men would it take to change a light bulb?

Why would a blind man need a light bulb?