Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?

You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?

A: Turn off the carousel.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why didn't the guitarist get laid?

Because he had bad pickups

Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate?

To lay off his campaign staff.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms &amp no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel

What did the IT guy say when he threw RAM sticks at the stripper?

RAMs a make a dance!"

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How do you know when a mechanic has a girlfriend?

He has one clean finger.

What do Kim Kardashian, and my girlfriend have in common?

They're both made up.

Ocd Jokes More Ocd Jokes

How many people with OCD does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Only one, but they have to turn it on and off 50 times before they're sure it's fixed.

What's three times worse than OCD?

OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...