Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you make Helen Keller cry?

Turn the stool upside-down

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel.

Why do I need a wingman?

How's a half-man half-bird freak gonna get me laid

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

When all of a sudden Tinker Bell shows up. He goes to a worker and says, "Wow, you guys have fairies in here?

The worker then says, "No, our CEO doesn't like it."

Why does that guy always get all the women?

I don't know...he isn't very handsome or rich" "And he's a terrible conversationalist - all he does is sit there licking his eyebrows"

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What should you do when your ex-girlfriend stands in the spotlights?

Drive faster.

Who was that, your girlfriend?

Everyone laughs* NERD: "Nope. It was yours." *Dead silence*

Ocd Jokes More Ocd Jokes

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

How many people with OCD does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Only one, but they have to turn it on and off 50 times before they're sure it's fixed.