Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

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Where do lobsters buy their work clothes?

Homardware.

What's the difference between a lobster and an oriental woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other a crushed Asian.

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What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister?

They are both in bread.

Why do the French have so many civil wars?

So they can win one every now and again. (Thanks, John Cleese! This was too good not to share.)