Why don't lobsters ever share anything?

Because they're shellfish

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Whats worse than having a lobster on yer piano?

Having crabs on yer organ!

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ.

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Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

Why did the twins have twice as many shirts as pants?

Because they shared genes!