Why was 1 all salty?

Someone told him it was 2's day.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a boy chromosome from a girl chromosome?

Check their jeans.

What's the new baby hippo's name?

Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know he won't tell me.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How many French horn players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better.

How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb?

1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was

2 Day Jokes More 2 Day Jokes

What's the difference between procrastination and laziness?

RemindMe! 2 days to edit this post

How bad?

Really bad, you have 2 months." OMG "APRIL FOOLS!" Whew- "You have 2 days."