Why were the proctologist's emails so hard to read?

Too many colons.

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What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?

I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

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Why were the proctologist's emails so hard to read?

Too many colons.

Who would want a "Semi" tattoo on their colon?

Not that there's anything wrong with that....