Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

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How do you know when a mechanic has a girlfriend?

He has one clean finger.

How do you know your dog's cancer is really bad?

If the vet says it's mutt-astasized.

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What is a double-blind study?

Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.

What 2 books do white American boys enjoy reading on their way to school?

The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.

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What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

Why does the prosecutor only choose jurors who drive Hummers?

So that there's no chance of a hung jury

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Why did the man name his daughter Candy?

She was the sweetest mistake he ever made.

Which do you choose?

WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.

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What did Obi-wan say to Skywalker the first time he saw him as Darth Vader?

snickering) Nice suit, must have cost you an ...

What does the snicker say to the other snicker?

DEEZ NUTZ, Ha! Goteem!

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Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read