Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?

He was too much of a bully!

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play chess?

Because he's dead.

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

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What did the bullied microchip say?

PIC on someone your own size!

What does an existentialist bully say?

Quit being yourself, quit being yourself!"