How can you recognize a Gnome Pig?

They're the ones with the little red hats.

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Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

How do you tell the difference between a Sunni and a Shiite Muslim?

The Sunni's are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

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What's the difference between a turkey sandwich and a ham sandwich?

A turkey sandwich doesn't recognize the Armenian genocide

How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash?

A: She's the one on her bike.