How can you tell if you're racist?

You only pick out the K's when you take an eye exam.

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How many Social Justice Warriors does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, just the one black guy they get to do it so they can tell him how oppressed he is.

What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

Me too*

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What do you tell the teenage mutant ninja turtle Raphael when he picks up a miniature version of his weapons?

Those are the wrong Sais.

What is Tony Romo's favorite lottery game?

Pick Six

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What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork