How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why'd the dog sit in the shade?

He didn't want to be a hot dog!

Who the hell buys furniture online?

Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

Why is today John Philip Sousa Day?

Because he told everyone to march fourth.

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

How would u like that prepared?

ME: um medium well W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done

How does it feel?

Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow "What"

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

Up Jokes More Up Jokes

How's the elevator business?

It has it's ups and downs.

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.