How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you call an Irish girl sitting on a hot griddle holding a piece of cheese?

A paddy melt!!

What do you call a bunch of white dudes sitting on a bench?

The NBA

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why didn't the rock make it to work today?

He was stoned

Why are there no Wal Marts in Iraq, Iran, or Afghanistan?

Because there are already too many targets. (credit: some old veteran bum looking guy sleeping on a bench at the police station I went to today.)

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

How does Snoop Dogg prepare for Christmas?

he raps his presents

How does NASA prepare for an organized event?

They planet!

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

What are the similarities between Cocaine and Gain detergent?

A:With both of them you go sniff sniff hooray!

Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts?

Because they'll crack up anyways

Up Jokes More Up Jokes

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

What did the man reply to his friend that found a good paying job taking care of mentally challenged people?

Answer: Oh, so it has its ups and downs.