How do you find the Pun Bar?

You just walk into it

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What's the worst thing about a September harvest?

Finding a plane in your field.

Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?

When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position.

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What has 100 legs but can't walk?

Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it

How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million?

Walk in with $2 Million.