How do you get Akbar to shut up?

Muzzle'm.

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How does a Muslim shut a door?

Islams it.

How many feminists does it take to dismantle the patriarchy?

None. Once they shut up, no-one has any reason left to oppress them :)

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What did the Jihadist say when he had explosive Diarrhea?

ALLAHPOO AKBAR!

What does a Muslim with allergies say?

Al-achoo Akbar.