How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.

Whats the emergency?

My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why was the egg late for work?

It ova slept.

What's a narcoleptics favorite game?

Hide and go sleep.

Interrupt Jokes More Interrupt Jokes

Why did the interrupting cow cross the road?

MOOOOOO!!!!

Why does the CPU never get any work done?

Because it gets interrupted constantly.

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

Why does noone listen ever to the guy who talks with his mouth full?

He is so misunderstood.

What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

How do you pay for things in the Czech Republic?

Cash or Czech Edit: a word

What does a rapper use to write their songs?

Word,yo.