How do you make a racing snail faster?

I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish.

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Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills?

Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....

Why did the AC wave try to hang himself?

He was sinusoidal.

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What do turtles do for fun?

Play hide and shell.

What do you call a greedy crab?

Shell fish......