How do you make a racing snail faster?

I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you call a quadruple amputee trying to swim?

Bob. Same guy laying on the floor Matt. Same guy hanging on the wall Art. Same guy in a mailbox Bill.

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Shell Jokes More Shell Jokes

How many Wake Forest fraternity brothers does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

Seventeen. One to do it and sixteen to shell the M&M's.

What do turtles do for fun?

Play hide and shell.