How do you tell a lonely geologist from a social one?

The lonely one dated igneous rocks!

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What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

How does she tell them apart?

Their last names.

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Why can't rock climbing instructors get dates?

Because they rappel men and women.

What happened when the Malaysian asked the Russian out on a date?

He got shot down.