How is a bell obedient?

It sounds off only when it is told (tolled).

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How can you tell if a parrot is intelligent?

It speaks in Polly-syllables!

What are the three fastest forms of communication?

Telephone, telegraph, tell a woman.

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What sounds like a joke, but isn't funny?

an anti-joke.

How long are you supposed to wait to return a boy's call?

This IRS guy sounded pretty into me