How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?

Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

How much does wonton soup weigh?

One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it.

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

A: An inj-oink-tion.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

How are bad dubstep and constipation similar?

Both leave you waiting for the drop.

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

Why are the waiters in here so nasty?

Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.