Why is it good to know someone who kicks ducks in the face?

Because they're always footing the bill.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between an accident and a catastrophe?

It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim

What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop!

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What did the five fingers say to the face?

SLAP!

How do you know if an Asian is depressed?

All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

Put it on my bill

What does Dr. Oz do when you throw scientific evidence at his head?

Ducks like a quack.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What do you call a man who has lost the lower parts of his legs, but still somehow has his feet?

Tony.

What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot?

Mitosis

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea's new private school?

A: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform.

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

What do you you say when a monk tries to kick you out of the monastery ?

Namaste

Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve?

A: It was a litterbug.