How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

November.

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How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. Five. One.

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How many boring guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One

How many roaches does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2 but how they got in the light bulb I will never know

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Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.