How's your nutrition?

ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It's been worse.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What signal tells you that a politician is lying?

The lips are moving

Why can't you lie to an aborted fetus?

It wasn't born yesterday.

Dip Jokes More Dip Jokes

What part of Popeye has the smoothest skin?

The part he dips in Olive Oyl.

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster?

You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

Custard Jokes More Custard Jokes

How's your nutrition?

ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It's been worse.

What do you call a custard when it goes bad?

Off-pudding.

Burrito Jokes More Burrito Jokes

Why are you wrapping me up like a burrito & how did you find a tortilla this big?

Me: Shhh! This is my fantasy & burritos don't talk.

What does a duck put in its burrito?

Quackamole.