What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?

The politician replied, "Shhhhh -- just pay it."

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call a gigolo you don't pay?

A Free Willy.

How much do pirates pay for corn?

A buck an ear!

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What's a holocaust?

And I reply "Oh, about eleven million"

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

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How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter F.