What are your thoughts on new soup technology?

I say Progresso at any cost.

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Thought Jokes More Thought Jokes

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

What are your thoughts on monorails?

They make decent one-liners.

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

How much does 1 drop of gas cost me?

The boy stumbles: "Well euhm ... nothing I guess." "Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck an ear (buccaneer).