Cost Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How much did the cannibal pay for his new sports car?

I don't know but I heard it cost him an arm and a leg.

How could a leper afford a nice house?

It cost an arm and a leg

What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

How much does it cost to buy multiple prosthetic limbs?

An arm and a leg.

What concert costs 45 cents?

A concert that costs 45 cents.

How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buccaneer!

How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?

A buccaneer.

How much did the pirate's new earrings cost him?

A buccaneer

How much does it cost to clean up Germany?

About 6 million.

What's the difference between a race car and a woman?

One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why does hiring a ship illegally always cost $3.14?

Because theyre pi rates.

What take out food should you avoid at all costs in Hospital?

Donor Kebab

Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children?

With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it.

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck an ear (buccaneer).

What did Obi-wan say to Skywalker the first time he saw him as Darth Vader?

snickering) Nice suit, must have cost you an ...

What's that again?

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.'

How much do dirty deeds cost again?

Malcolm Young

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

What does it cost for a pirate to get his ear pierced?

A buck-an-ear

What famous actor costs an arm &amp a leg to hire?

ARMold SchwarzenLEGger

How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck an ear.

What are your thoughts on new soup technology?

I say Progresso at any cost.

How much does 1 drop of gas cost me?

The boy stumbles: "Well euhm ... nothing I guess." "Thanks, I'll have 2 million drops then"

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

A: You should bill Gates.

What does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?

about a Buccaneer (buck-an-ear) yuck...yuck...yuck

How much does it cost for a pirate to get an ear piercing?

A buccaneer.

How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?

A buccaneer!

How much do the potatoes cost?

How much do the potatoes cost " - "2.50" - "And the bag" - "The bag is free" - "Ok, give me the bag"

What's the difference between my virginity and the Apple Airphones?

Losing my virginity wouldn't cost me as much.

Who's concerts cost only 45 cents to attend?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

How much did is cost the pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear.

How much does a flight to Rio cost?

A Brazilian dollars.

What costs you more the less you spend on it?

A divorce lawyer.

What is the cost of plastic surgery?

Doctor: It is near about 10,000$. Patient: Well, what if we arrange the plastic

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

What's the difference between beer nut and deer nuts?

Beer nuts will cost you about $1.25. Deer nuts are under a buck.

How much does Canada cost?

Nothing. It's a free country.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time...

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

Clean Jokes More Clean Jokes

When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE : I use your toothbrush.

How do you know when a cat's done cleaning itself?

It's smoking a cigarette.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why don't big trains have little trains?

They pull out on time.

What was the best magic trick Osama Bin Laden ever pulled?

He made the World Trade Center disappear.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter?

They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!

What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Potato Jokes More Potato Jokes

What did the potato name his son?

Chip. Sorry.

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where do you buy a baby?

Hole Foods.

What would be a terrible name for a new beer?

Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...

End Jokes More End Jokes

What starts out happy but ends in tears?

Marriage

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

What's so dark about blonde jokes?

They still haven't figured out how to screw in the lightbulb

Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job?

A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!