What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY ! !

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What's the difference between a drummer in a rock'n'roll band and an extra large pizza?

The extra large pizza can feed a family of four.

What did the boulder say to the other boulder?

I rock. You Rock. We Rock. Disclaimer: This joke was made during a 6 hour road trip with the family. My only scenery was rocks.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

God Jokes More God Jokes

What console does god use?

Praystation

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it.